She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
