Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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