I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
soo... how was my night?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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