thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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