Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
