Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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