is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that š I went with "no"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far Iām loving being divorced. :-)
If heās halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, Iāll marry him
You went after him with a sword while screaming āFAJITAS!ā. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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