A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
