you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
