it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
