oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
