PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
operation have a gay friend backfired
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
