i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?