thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Can you repeat that, but with context?