idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
kristin has been a bad kristin
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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