Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
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winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
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Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.