Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
