I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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