thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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