Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
