isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize