So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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