She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
They are going to name an STD after you.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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