He disabled his match.com account in front of me
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
