i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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