I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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