I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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