I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
