I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
