When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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