I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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