i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
