Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
