found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
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