This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
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