Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
