Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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