I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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