I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
