I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
