Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
