I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
