I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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