apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
