is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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