Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
