bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
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