so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize