Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
