She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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