I think i sorta joined a cult last night
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
