i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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