We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
