Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
