I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
