yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
