I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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