Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
