they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
