Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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