I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My breasts were aching with rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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