apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I supernannyed him into submission
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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