I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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