I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
