I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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