You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
