My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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