you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
