omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
