im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Me too!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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