I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
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I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
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If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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